Secrets of the Heart
by KymYume
Summary: Things finally start to go right for Omi and Ken's relationship, but will a new problem change things? Ch. 3 up!!!
1. Secrets of the Heart

Secrets of the Heart  
By Chisa Yume  
  
Author's notes: Kon'wa minna!! This is the first time writing a fic on my own. You might have   
read Searching for Love, which is being written by Neko and I and we hope to finish it soon.   
Hopefully this won't turn out too horribly. Please review after reading so I can know what you   
think! If you want, you can e-mail me at KMSchow@aol.com.  
  
Disclaimer: ::sniffle:: Weiss and all other characters aren't mine. T_T  
  
Japanese vocab: If you notice something is worded incorrectly tell me because I'm not fluent in  
Japanese and I only know a little bit so the odds of me screwing up are high.  
Hai- yes  
Gomen nasai minna- I'm very sorry everyone  
Kami-sama- God, the -sama ending is used to show great respect  
Onegai- Please  
Daijobou?- Are you ok?  
Nani?- What?  
Ja- Bye  
Yamero-Stop  
Arigato (gozaimasu)- Thank You (very much)  
  
Spoilers: There is brief mention about Aya's sister but nothing else and you don't need to know  
their past to understand the fic.  
  
Rating: R- for mature themes and adult language towards the end of the fic.   
  
Warning: This story is going to be an angst and will have mention of rape. Nothing graphic   
mind you, just enough to let you know it happened. If you still think this is a horrible topic,  
just push the back button and pretend you never saw this fic. ^_^ I'll try not to make the   
characters OOC but I might do it on accident so don't be surprised. Tell me if you think anyone  
is OOC. Also, this is a yaoi fic which means male/male relationships. Gomen Neko-chan! ^_^   
I'm not writing anything too serious but just to let you know. Ok, now on with the fic. Enjoy!  
  
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"Why does this shift have to last so long?" Omi thought as he fought the urge to stare at Ken  
for the millionth time that day. "Why couldn't Aya take Ken's shift today? I'm going to doing   
something stupid if I'm around Ken for so long. I'm sure he'd love to have me randomly walk up  
to him and kiss his breath away. Yeah right."  
  
There was no use in denying it, he had fallen in love with Ken. Sometime over the years they   
worked together, his feelings of friendship grew into something more. At first he was scared   
and thought he was just going through some sort of phase but as the months passed by and his   
feelings only grew stronger, he knew this was something serious.   
  
"I probably wouldn't have realized I was feeling love if Ken hadn't screwed up on that mission."  
Omi thought reflecting on one of Weiss' previous missions.  
  
Weiss had been sent to take out a man testing drugs on innocent children abducted off the   
streets. When they infiltrated the building Ken and Yoji took off to check for guards while he  
and Aya went to short out the security system. As it turned out, the target had kidnapped a   
little boy that day and was in the process of giving the child drugs when Ken found him. Ken   
found the target first and, furious at the man because he was hurting a child, charged blindly   
towards the target. Then some of the target's guards came out of the shadows and shot Ken in   
his left arm and twice in his left thigh before Yoji had a chance to wipe them out. He and Aya  
had barged in right after Yoji killed the last guard and Aya then proceeded to eliminate the   
target.  
  
He had never felt so scared in his life when he saw Ken on the floor covered in blood. It was in  
that moment that he realized he was in love with Ken. Ever since then Omi wanted to tell Ken   
about his feelings but every time he started to tell him, he would get nervous and say something   
else instead. "Maybe I'm just not meant to have love. There's no way Ken would feel the same   
way I do..." Omi thought dejectedly until he heard Ken's voice yelling to him.  
  
"Oi, Omi! Can you lend me a hand over here?!"  
  
"H-hai Ken-kun!"   
  
He walked over to where Ken was and assisted him in carrying out the bigger plants from the   
backroom to put on display, being careful not to embarrass himself in front of Ken.   
  
"Thanks Omi, it would have taken me forever if I had moved all of that on my own!"  
  
"It's no problem Ken-kun. Anything else you need help with?" Omi asked.   
  
"Just help with getting all of these banshees out of the shop for our lunch break," Ken said   
referring to the hoard of girls mobbing the shop.  
  
"Be nice Ken-kun! Even if they are annoying, you don't have to call them banshees!"  
  
"You're too nice for your own good Omi. These girls are going to walk all over you if you keep   
that attitude up."  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Turning towards the crowd Omi yelled, "Gomen nasai minna! It's time to close the   
shop for lunch!"  
  
  
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Heading up to his room after his shift had finished, Omi was glad to be away from Ken for a   
while. Settling down on his bed for a short nap he was almost asleep when he heard a knock on   
the door. Sitting up, he asked who was there.  
  
"It's me Omittchi!"  
  
"That sure does tell me who you are," Omi replies sarcastically. "Yoji-kun, shouldn't you be   
in the shop for your shift right now?" Omi asked, annoyed at the interruption of his quiet time.  
  
"Nah, Aya can handle those girls for a few more minutes alone. Right now I want to talk to you,   
so can I please come in and stop talking to a door?"  
  
"Fine!" Omi got up languidly, walked to the door to flip the lock off and promptly laid back   
down on his bed.  
  
Upon hearing the lock click out of place, Yoji opened the door to see a sleepy and annoyed Omi.   
"Come on, cheer up! You'll never impress the girls with that face!"  
  
"Since when have I wanted to impress them? That's your department Yoji. So, what did you want   
to talk to me about? I'd like to get back to sleep."  
  
"Well, nothing important really, just wanted to know how you felt about Ken." Yoji asked   
nonchalantly.   
  
"W-what?!" Clearly not expecting to be asked such a personal question, Omi was speechless.  
  
"Seriously Omi, I've seen the way you stare at him. I want to know what you feel for him   
because it looks like more than a crush to me."  
  
"I-it does?" Omi tried to think of any opportunity Yoji might have had to figure out his   
feelings for Ken but kept reaching a blank.   
  
"Come on Omittchi, your reaction alone tells me I'm right. Why don't you just tell him how you   
feel?"  
  
"I can't Yoji-kun! He'd never feel the same way about me! Remember when he went out with   
Yuriko? He's straight!"  
  
"What happened to comfortably bi? He could have changed since he broke up with Yuriko. That   
happened months ago anyway."  
  
"Yes but-"  
  
"See what I mean? You're just making it harder on yourself. You should tell him how you feel   
Omi."  
  
"Even if he does like guys, he doesn't feel anything more than brotherly love towards me." Omi   
replied dejectedly.   
  
"You're being too hard on yourself Omittchi. Do you want to live the rest of your life   
wondering what could have happened if you had told him? Trust me, you'll regret it eventually."  
  
"I don't know if I could Yoji-kun. The odds of him actually feeling the same are slim to none."  
  
"The odds are better than you think Omittchi. Just tell him how you feel, and go from there."   
  
Before Omi had a chance to ask what he meant, Yoji had gotten up and left the room. Perplexed,   
he sat down on his bed to think about Yoji's words, his nap long forgotten.  
  
Outside, Yoji walked back towards the shop thinking about how Ken could pay him back for helping   
Omi come forward with his feelings. He could remember when Ken had first started to come to him   
about two months earlier trying figure what he was feeling towards Omi. As it turned out, Ken   
was just as shy about telling Omi his feelings as Omi was. "Hopefully Omi is brave enough to   
take my advice. He and Omi would be happy together, not to mention it would put a stop to that   
horrible tension in the shop while they are working together if they hooked up," Yoji thought as   
he entered the shop ready to give the red-headed leader, Aya, his excuse for being late.  
  
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After staying up late thinking about Yoji's words, Omi had finally decided to talk to Ken about   
his feelings. Now he just had to find a way to get on the topic of his feelings...  
  
The chance finally arose when he volunteered to play soccer with Ken a week later. They   
dribbled the ball around the field and played until they wore themselves out and eventually Omi   
collapsed onto the grass letting out a big sigh and stretching simultaneously. He looked over   
to see Ken follow suit.   
  
"Thanks for playing with me Omi. It was a lot of fun." Ken said looking over at his blond   
friend.  
  
"No problem Ken-kun, I really enjoyed it. I had forgotten how fun it is to play soccer."  
  
"Maybe we could... do this again sometime?" Ken asked.  
  
"I'd like that Ken-kun." Omi replied. Seeing Ken's face light up when he said "yes" gave him   
more courage to tell Ken his feelings. "Um... Ken-kun, I've been meaning to tell you   
something..."  
  
"What is it Omi?"  
  
"I... well... that is..." Becoming scared again Omi started to back down on his confession.  
  
"Yes Omi?" Ken looked over with hopeful eyes.   
  
Noticing this Omi found a little more strength. "I... like you Ken-kun. Not just like a   
brother or friend but more like someone in a relationship would and I don't mind if you don't   
feel the same way I just thought you should know so please don't hate me!" Face flushed with   
embarrassment Omi got up to run off the field instead of staying to hear the inevitable   
rejection. Just as he was about to sprint off he felt a hand on his wrist. Turning slowly,   
he saw Ken looking at him with a new expression on his face. Almost like...  
  
"Do you really mean that Omi?"  
  
"Y-yes Ken-kun, I do. I've felt this way for... a long time actually, I just never could tell   
you before." Feeling himself blush, Omi looked down to admire the grass.   
  
Suddenly, a hand was under his chin tilting his head up to look into deep, chocolate eyes.   
  
"If you run off, how am I supposed to tell you how I feel?"   
  
"H-how you feel? Ken-kun...I understand that you won't feel the same way, there's no need to   
point that out." Confusion and hope flooded his senses as he tried to understand what Ken meant.  
  
"Have I said I don't feel the same way? Have I done something to make you think I don't feel   
anything like that towards you?"  
  
"W-well, no but-"  
  
"Exactly, and just for your information," bending down to where their noses touched and   
looking deep into Omi's wide, blues eyes, "I do like you."  
  
The next thing Omi knew, was soft lips on his own in a chaste kiss that said more than words   
ever could.  
  
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"It's been six days, 3 hours, 40 minutes and ....36 seconds since Ken told me he liked me!"   
Omi thought to himself happily as he cooked lunch.   
  
"Off Cloud-9 yet?" Yoji's teasing voice called out.  
  
"Nope!" Omi beamed back at him. "I don't think I'll ever come down from it!"  
  
"Maybe I shouldn't have convinced you to talk to Ken. Now your smile is making me sick! Not   
to mention when you're together! Ugh! Thank goodness Ken still has to work in the shop right   
now!"  
  
"Yoji-kun! You're just jealous!" Omi laughs as he continues his cooking.  
  
"Me? Jealous? I don't get jealous!" Yoji countered with indignation.  
  
"Then what was that emotion you felt when you thought Aya-kun was sneaking out to see a girl   
when it was really just his sister? That couldn't have possibly been happiness!" Knowing he   
had won the argument, Omi tuned back to the stove, laughing.  
  
"Omi! Yoji! Manx is here!" Aya's voice cut through the two men's laughter.  
  
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"Good evening Weiss, this is going to be a smaller mission than usual so only two are needed."   
Looking at each boy's face she continued, "The information at Kritiker's database doesn't   
warrant a video cassette today so the mission will be handled through papers and photographs.   
The target is Masaya Toru, the leader of a drug ring." She informed, placing a picture of a   
youthful, brown haired man on the table. "He and his comrades have been selling and trading   
drugs for the past 5 months but up until now, Kritiker could not find them. The number of   
people supporting them has dwindled to a select few so it is very unlikely for Masaya to have   
guards. Any volunteers for this mission?"   
  
"I will go." Aya announced, though he really didn't need to say anything since they all knew  
he accepted any mission.  
  
"I'm out, I have other things to do this weekend." Yoji stated from his spot on the couch.  
  
"I promised the kids I'd play soccer with them and if I cancel again they might get suspicious."   
Ken said.  
  
"Then I guess I'll go," came from the youngest member. "Good thing I don't have any tests to   
study for this weekend."  
  
"Then it's settled. Hunters of light, hunt the beasts of darkness," and with that said, she   
turned and left the building.  
  
"Are you sure you want to take this mission Omi?" Ken asked walking over to Omi.  
  
"Don't worry about it Ken-kun, it's a simple mission anyway so it should go off without a hitch."   
  
"Yeah, you're right. Just be careful." Ken warned placing an arm around Omi's shoulder.   
  
"Hai, I will Ken-kun." Omi replied returning the hug.  
  
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"Target eliminated, lets head out Bombay." Aya said into his microphone as he headed towards   
the exit. When, no answer came, he grew worried. Omi had never ignored a transmission before.   
"Bombay? Do you read me? Bombay?"  
  
"Ok, where is his station?" Aya though trying to remember how to get back to the assigned spot   
Omi had. "Here it is... kuso! Where is he!"  
  
Distantly he could hear what sounded like Omi's voice sobbing. "Please let him be ok..."   
Opening the door, his hopes were shattered. "Kami-sama!"  
  
There on the floor was Omi, with two large men holding his naked body down while another was on   
top of him. Anger raging through him, Aya attacked the men raping his friend. After they had   
all be killed, Aya knelt down to check on his friend.  
  
"Omi? Omi talk to me, say something!"   
  
"A-Aya...kun?"  
  
"Hai, it's me. Everything is going to be ok. Let's get you out of here." Aya placed his   
jacket around Omi's nude form, his clothes too tattered to be used again and reached down to   
help Omi stand, being weary of his battered body.   
  
"Aya-kun... promise me- ouch!...something." Omi winced as Aya accidentally jarred his body   
trying to pick him up.  
  
"Sorry about that." Looking into sad, blue eyes, Aya asked what is was he wanted.  
  
"Promise me you won't tell Ken-kun or Yoji-kun about this."  
  
"N- nani? Ken deserves to know this happened." Aya asked perplexed.  
  
"If he knows that this happened to me, he won't trust me to take care of myself anymore. I'm   
already babied enough, if Ken and Yoji know then it'll just get worse. Onegai! Aya-kun."  
  
"Are you absolutely sure this is what you want?" Aya asked, still skeptical of Omi's decision.  
  
"Hai Aya-kun. It's best this way."  
  
"Well, I'll only promise because you really want me to but I think you should tell Ken at least   
Omi. I can't make you though but at least think about it. Now let's get you home." Aya then   
proceeded to put his jacket more securely around Omi's small frame and carried him to the car.  
  
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By some miraculous reason, neither Ken nor Yoji came to see how the mission went when they   
arrived back at the Koneko. As it turned out, Yoji had given Ken vodka to settle his nerves   
because he wouldn't stop worrying about Omi. Ken had already passed out by the time Aya brought   
Omi home and Yoji had decided to go to sleep as well before he got himself drunk so they didn't   
have to explain why Omi was wearing Aya's jacket and bleeding.   
  
Ken had noticed a change in Omi ever since he got back from the mission. He seemed more...   
subdued. Omi rarely wanted to do things together, much less share physical contact like he   
used to. Fed up with trying to get information out of Omi, Ken had decided to ask Yoji, since   
he was always good at deciphering people's emotions. "I've asked Omi if something was bothering   
him, on multiple occasions even but he always says he's fine! He acts like he is trying to hide   
something from me. Have you noticed anything different about him?"   
  
"Actually I have. I was going to ask you about it but obviously you don't know any more than I   
do." Yoji's brows knitted together trying to figure out what was bothering their young friend.  
  
"I think I'll ask him one more time, and if he doesn't say anything, I'll go to Aya." Ken said   
determined to figure out what was bothering his loved one.  
  
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Aya was really wishing he hadn't promised Omi his silence as the days went by. "Omi needs   
someone to talk to and Ken would be perfect for the job. I'm really not good at heart to heart   
talks but since I'm the only one that knows out of the three of us... I guess I have to."   
Having made up his mind, Aya knocked on the door to Omi's room. Aya had tried on multiple   
occasions to talk to the distraught boy but he always asked to be left alone. "This time I'm   
not leaving you alone, no matter what you say." Aya thought to himself with an air of finality.   
Soft sniffling sounds could be heard as he waited for an answer.  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"Aya."  
  
Slowly the door crept open to reveal a puffy eyed boy. It was obvious he had been crying.   
"Can I come in Omi? Onegai?" Aya asked quietly.  
  
His answer was the door slowly opening wider to allow him entrance. After walking in, he and   
Omi both settled down on the bed.   
  
"What can I do for you Aya-kun?" Looking into Omi's eyes, Aya could see the usual sparkle was   
missing.  
  
"I'm getting worried about you Omi... you aren't eating well anymore and you keep shutting   
yourself up in this room. It's not healthy."  
  
"I'd eat but it never stays down, so I just stopped trying. I haven't felt like socializing   
very much lately, I can try harder though if you want." Omi started to fiddle with his blanket.  
  
"You shouldn't let what happened get to you so much Omi. It wasn't your fault!"   
  
"I really am weak... I'm a trained assassin and I can't stop three men from ganging up on me!   
Don't you see? If I was more skilled this never would have happened." As Omi spoke, tears   
slowly started to trail down his cheeks.   
  
Now Aya was unsure of what to say to console Omi. "I can't say 'blame me' or else I would be   
babying him, which he really doesn't need right now. Oh I know."   
  
"Omi... just because you couldn't fend them off, it doesn't mean you're weak or that it was your   
fault. One on one I can understand, but three against one? That's hard to handle sometimes. I   
can remember on multiple occasions that... Yoji had to get me out of trouble when I... took on   
too many people at once. Why don't you just blame the assholes who attacked you? It certainly   
was their fault, don't you think? If anything, place the blame on them. Never blame yourself   
Omi."  
  
"Yeah... I guess so but..." Aya's silently confession of his own mistakes touched Omi. He knew   
it was a rare thing for Aya to admit a fault in his decision, but he was still worried. "I... I   
can't stop remembering Aya-kun! Every time I close my eyes I can see those men. I wanted my   
first time... to be with..." the tears were flowing in earnest now, "someone I love... maybe   
Ken-kun. At least someone I trusted!"  
  
"Come here Omi," Aya said as he enveloped Omi in a hug, trying to help comfort him. He rubbed   
small circles into his back to help ease the tension and Aya didn't even think about Omi's tears   
getting his favorite orange sweater wet. Even though he didn't usually like physical contact,   
he swallowed his preferences for a few moments.   
  
Eventually, Omi's sobs subsided until he just rested his head on Aya's shoulder, breathing   
slowly.  
  
"Arigato... Aya-kun."  
  
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Walking up the stairs to Omi's room Ken decided to just surprise Omi and walk in without   
knocking. Cracking the door open slowly, he saw Aya holding Omi in a tight embrace having just   
missed the conversation between the two men and Omi's tears.  
  
Unnoticed, Ken closed the door back softly and walked back towards the kitchen getting angrier   
with each step he took. "I should have known that's what was going on! How could he... I   
thought he?! I guess his feelings about me are a lie. He really likes Aya, why else would they   
be hugging?! Aya never hugs anyone! He could of at least told me he wanted to break up instead   
of letting me find out this way!"  
  
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"This talk has really made me feel better, thank you Aya-kun. Maybe now that I'm feeling better   
I can stomach some food." Omi said perking up.  
  
"You had better, so go get something in that stomach of yours before you die of starvation!"  
  
Cracking a small smile, Omi got up and headed downstairs while Aya went into his room.   
Reaching the kitchen, Omi saw Ken brooding by the stove as he tried to cook something.  
  
"Daijobou, Ken-kun?" Omi asked walking over to stand by Ken. Silence greeted him. "Ken-kun?   
Are you ok? What's the matter?" Omi turned to try to get a better look at Ken's face.  
  
"What do you mean, 'Are you ok?' How do you think I feel?!" Turning around he flashed angry   
orbs of chocolate brown at Omi.  
  
"Ken-kun, I don't understand. What's wrong?" Omi asked again, getting nervous under Ken's   
intense glare.  
  
"You could have at least told me you were going out with Aya! Instead you leave me to find out   
on my own!"  
  
"N-nani?! I'm not seeing Aya-kun!" Nothing was making sense anymore, every sentence only   
confused Omi more.  
  
"Don't lie to me Omi! I just saw you hugging him! Aya doesn't hug ANYBODY! There's obviously   
something going on if he's hugging you. I'm not stupid enough to get that wrong!"  
  
"He wasn't hugging me because we were seeing each other Ken-kun honestly! It was-"  
  
"I don't want to hear it Omi. Just leave me alone from now on!"  
  
"But Ken-kun! You don't understand-" Tears once again coursed their way down Omi's cheeks for   
the umpteenth time that afternoon.   
  
"I said I don't want to hear it! Go to Aya! I hope your happy with him!" Ken shouted as he   
pointed towards Aya's room.  
  
Sobbing, Omi ran up to his room and slammed the door.  
  
Upon hearing Omi's door slam, Aya got up to see what the problem was now. He could hear muffled   
cries emanating from Omi's room and decided to just open the door instead of knocking first.   
  
"Omi?"  
  
"Not right now Aya-kun." Omi's tired, broken voice came from the pillow.  
  
"You barely left your room for five minutes Omi. What happened?" Aya couldn't figure out for   
the life of him what was wrong. He thought he had heard some yelling but he could never hear   
much from his room so he just left it as Ken fighting with Yoji again, a frequent occurrence in   
their house but now he wasn't so sure.  
  
"It's was awful Aya-kun! Ken-kun.. he saw you...hugging me and now he thinks I am cheating on   
him with you!"  
  
"He does?" Aya hadn't been expecting that to be the reason for Omi's tears. He was at a loss   
for words.  
  
"He wouldn't even let me explain why we were hugging in the first place! He hates me now..."   
At his last words Omi started to cry again.  
  
"I'm going to go have a talk with Ken. Ja." Getting up and ignoring Omi's protests, Aya   
heading downstairs to find Ken. "How could he assume something like that so quickly? I never   
thought of him as that big an idiot but he surprises me everyday. How dare he hurt Omi at a   
time like this. I guess I have to knock some sense back into him.  
  
Walking into the kitchen he saw Yoji talking with a furious Ken.  
  
"Ken, did he say why he was hugging Aya?" He heard Yoji ask.  
  
"Ken."  
  
Turning around and seeing Aya, Ken's anger only multiplied. "What the hell do you want?! You   
already got Omi so leave me alone!"  
  
"Listen to me!" Grabbing the lapels of Ken's jacket, Aya slammed Ken into the wall.  
  
"Aya! Don't kill Ken!" Yoji started to pry at Aya's fingers to get Ken free.  
  
"I'm not going to kill Ken, Yoji. Omi would kill me if I did that." Looking back over to Ken   
he said, "You never think do you Ken?! You see something and automatically assume it only means   
one thing! Well, for your information, you totally misunderstood the situation!"  
  
"Then why were you hugging then?! You never hug anybody Aya so you better start explaining and   
it better be good!"  
  
"Some deep shit happened to Omi on our last mission and he told me not to tell you guys. Since   
I'm the only one who knows, I have to be the one to console him! I wanted to tell you but he   
made me promise and I don't go back on my word for some light reason, as much as I want to!"  
  
Ken Sobered up slightly at hearing something had happened to Omi. "What happened to Omi? He   
can tell me anything and he knows it!"  
  
"He didn't want to tell you because both of you would act differently around him, which is   
something he doesn't want!"  
  
"You still haven't told me WHAT HAPPENED!"  
  
" If I could, I would but I promised Omi I wouldn't tell."  
  
Suddenly flinging around and pushing Aya into the wall Ken yelled, "Tell me what happen to Omi   
damnit!"  
  
"Yamero! Ken-kun!"  
  
Turning their heads, all three men saw Omi standing in the entryway of the kitchen. Ken's hold   
on Aya slipped when he saw Omi and Aya used this opportunity to get away from Ken.  
  
Taking a deep, Omi said calmly, "Arigato Aya, for your silence, but I don't think I should keep   
it a secret any longer."  
  
"Are you sure Omi?" Aya asked, surprised at Omi's sudden decision.   
  
"Hai, Aya-kun. Ken-kun, Yoji-kun... I'm sorry I wouldn't tell you... but I was afraid you would   
be even more protective of me than you already are if you found out. The only reason Aya knows   
is because he found me..." Losing his nerve, Omi looked down at his feet.  
  
"F-found you...?" Ken prodded.   
  
"H-hai... I was outnumbered by three men that snuck up in me while I was at my post on the   
mission. I couldn't take them down. They dragged me off and..." Omi looked up at Aya,   
silently begging him to help.  
  
Sighing, Aya complied with Omi's silent plea. "They were in the middle of... raping him by the   
time I found him."  
  
Both Yoji and Ken turned astonished eyes towards Omi, only to see him with his head ducked down   
and his body shaking slightly.  
  
"Gomen nasai minna..." Omi whimpered.  
  
"And you were just ...oh Kami-sama... and I just! Oh Omi... I am so sorry! I can't believe I   
have been such an asshole." Distraught, Ken was unsure of what he should do. On one hand, he   
could hug Omi and try to make everything better but on the other hand, he probably didn't   
deserve Omi back after the way he had treated him.  
  
"Gomen Ken-kun. I should have just told you from the beginning and saved us the trouble of   
this horrible mix up."  
  
"No Omi, I'm sorry. Considering the circumstances, I probably would have been overprotective of   
you but I'll try my best not to. I should have let you explain. I had no right to assume you   
and Aya were seeing each other. I'm so stupid." Ken finished, looking down at the tile floor.   
He could feel his eyes burning with unshed tears.  
  
"Can you ...forgive me Ken-kun?" Omi asked timidly.  
  
"Only if you could find some way to forgive me." Ken let out a choked sob. "You needed me and   
I did nothing to help you, only added to your problems."  
  
"Of course I forgive you Ken-kun!" Omi said and enveloped Ken in a hug. "We both screwed up   
but everything's ok now, ne?"  
  
"Hai. Lets just put this mess behind us." Now Ken's tears turned to tears of happiness and   
Omi's joyful tears soon mixed in with them.   
  
"Come on Aya, let's leave these two by themselves for a while. They need some time alone."   
Yoji said walking up towards his room.  
  
"I'm the one who's supposed to say that." Aya grumbled as he followed Yoji up the stairs,   
leaving the two men alone in the kitchen to start the healing process. Not everything would be   
fixed immediately, but now Aya was certain that everything would turn out alright in the end.  
  
Owari.  
  
So, what's you think of it?! Good, bad? Should I give up the writing business? Review and tell   
me!! Constructive criticism is welcomed but please don't waste your time flaming me, it'll   
just be ignored. Arigato gozaimasu for reading! Also, Neko and Keithan, are you suprised I was   
so mean to Omi? I didn't mean for it to turn out this way!! Honestly!! ::sob:: I'm going  
to get a new muse, I this mine broke. Well, thanx again! Ja! ^_^ 


	2. Heart's Torment

Author's Note: Wow, I wrote another chapter! This was originally a one-shot but people thought I should write   
more and well, here I am! I want to thank my friend Taz, for actually giving me my angst riddled cliffhanger idea  
for this chapter. If you don't like it, blame her! j/k I hope you all like this new installment!  
disclaimer: No I don't own Weiss, never did, never will.  
pairings: Ken x Omi  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
  
Secrets of the Heart- Heart's Torment  
by Chisa Yume  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
  
'Why couldn't Manx have just made us mechanics?' Omi pondered to himself as he looked at the blood pooling   
at the tip of his finger. How many times had the roses pricked him lately? It seemed like it was happening more   
and more often.  
  
"Omittchi, what am I going to do with you?"  
  
Startled, Omi looked up to see chocolate orbs peering at him. "Kami-sama Ken-kun! Don't scare me like that!"   
  
"Gomen Omi, but seriously though, what am I going to do with you? This is the fifth time today alone that you've   
cut yourself, and we haven't even had lunch break yet!" Ken's expression was a cross between two emotions.   
Annoyance because the one he loved allowed himself to be hurt so easily these past few days, and second being   
love because he wanted nothing more than to kiss him and make it better regardless of the hoard of girls  
mobbing the shop.  
  
"Your kidding right?" Not believing he had been that out of it, he looked down at his hands only to find seven red   
pricks scattered about them. 'Am I that out of it lately?'  
  
"See, I told you so! You didn't notice?" Concerned eyes looked down at the blond angel.  
  
"Iie, I didn't actually." How many times did he space out today? 'Ken will be worried if he realized how often I've   
been doing that these past few days.'   
  
"Well then, I guess I'll just have to keep my eyes on you more often. Come on, let me see you hand."  
  
Taking his hand, Omi simply watched as Ken gently cleaned his wounds, as tiny as they may be, and lovingly put  
band-aids over the deeper punctures. 'This is the first time this week my muscles haven't tightened when   
someone touches me. Isn't that pathetic? How does Ken put up with me? He's so wonderful and I'm just a   
screw up.'  
  
"Omittchi, stop that train of thought right now!" Puzzled eyes glanced up at Ken. "I can tell you're going on one of   
your "I'm so unworthy" trips because your beautiful eyes always give you away. Can't you see that I love you?   
Everything about you Omi." Finished with cleaning Omi's wound, Ken simply held the injured hands with his own,   
trying to help the forlorn boy realize his self worth.  
  
"Everything about me is screwed up Ken-kun! I never do anything right. See! I can't even make a damn   
bouquet right!" Omi's grip on said bouquet was strong enough to make a few of the stems snap. He'd been   
working on the cursed thing for the last hour.  
  
"Omi, lets go somewhere more private." Ken said steering the overly stressed out tactician away from the shop   
and towards his room, away from prying eyes. Along the way Ken motioned to Aya, who had been reading the   
paper in the kitchen, to cover for them.  
  
  
After shutting the door to the small sanctuary behind him, Ken turned to see Omi sitting on the bed, his hands  
wringing the coverlet back and forth. Walking over to sit next to the troubled blonde, Ken thought about the turn of   
events. 'How many times since that mission almost two months ago have we been in this position? Omi used to   
always make me go to my room to talk whenever I was having problems, but now it's always the other way around.  
He suddenly needs me, but am I strong enough for him? Heck, I was never strong enough for myself before this   
mess, so how can I be stronger than before?' Gazing at the blonde before him, Ken couldn't stop the smile that   
appeared on his face. Every time he laid eyes on the boy, it always brought a smile to his face. Omi was such   
an amazing person, but it tore him apart to see him in pain. 'How can I make him realize he's everything to me   
and I don't think he's any worse than he was before he was raped? Was his self image this negative before that   
mission?'  
  
"Ken-kun, I'm sorry for being such a burden"   
  
"Do you honestly think you're being a burden?" Ken asked incredulously.  
  
"Yes I do Ken-kun. Right now, your taking time out of your day to bring me in here and talk to me. That's being a   
burden. This isn't the first time you've done this either." Even though he was trying not to get emotional, Omi   
couldn't stop the hitch in his voice. "I'm always-" His sentence was cut off by soft lips covering his own. Tears   
leaked out of his eyes as he melted into the kiss. Just as quickly as it started, it ended and Omi opened his eyes   
to see Ken's love filled ones.   
  
"Never think you're a burden to me, not even for a second. Was I a burden for you when you helped me deal with   
Kase's death?"  
  
"Of course not Ken-kun! You're never a burden and never have been! How could you think that?!"  
  
"So you helped me of your own free will because you wanted to, and not out of obligation?" Ken took Omi's   
hands in his own, which had been torturing the blanket continuously.  
  
"Of course, Ken-kun. You mean so much to me. Nothing could ever make me think of you as a burden."  
  
"Then why do you think it would be any different when I help you? Omi, you've helped me through many hard   
times in my life, and shown me how much you care through that. It's my turn now, you're the one who needs me.   
Please let me help you Omi." Ken squeezed Omi's hand, hoping that maybe if Omi wasn't convinced yet, his touch could somehow reassure him.   
  
Tears streamed down Omi's cherubic face as he squeezed Ken's own hand back. His breathing hitched once   
as he looked at Ken's loving face before he grabbed Ken and pulled him into a tight embrace and started to sob   
on his shoulder. Ken returned the hug with equal enthusiasm and thanked whatever higher being was out there   
for making Omi understand.   
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
  
Two months later...  
  
  
"So, what's the mission today Manx? Stop some horrible drug dealers? Maybe a prostitution ring to shut down?   
What's the plan?" Yoji asked the red haired informant as he strolled into the mission room with his usual playboy   
flair.  
  
"Weiss just needs to go over the results from the physical you all took last week, Balinese." Manx said, dodging   
Yohji's arm as he tried to sling it over her shoulder.  
  
"That's it?" Balinese asked incredulously. "How can there not be raging psychos out in the world that we need   
to take care of?"  
  
"Is there a problem Manx? Usually you just mail us the results." Ken inquired, confused by Manx's grim   
expression.  
  
"I'm sorry to say there is Siberian."  
  
A sense of dread filled Omi as Manx's serious gaze settled on him, making him feel as though his heart was   
being crushed slowly in a vice like grip.  
  
"Bombay... you tested HIV positive."  
  
  
TBC!!!!  
  
Ahh!!! Cliffhanger!! Don't hate me please!!! Sorry this took so long to get out!! I actually finished most of this a   
month ago but I thought I wouldn't leave it here, so I didn't post it. Opps... ^_^ Please read and review! I'd like  
to know what you think about the latest installment of Secrets of the Heart!  
Ja! 


	3. Heart's Lament

Disclaimer: No...Weiss... not... mine... *sob*  
Author's note: Konnichiwa minna-san!!!! Arigato to all of you who reviewed!! It really helped me write this chapter faster! You guys are great!!   
Email: KMSchow@aol.com  
  
~*~*~  
Secrets of the Heart  
Heart's Lament  
~*~*~  
  
"HIV... positive...?" Omi gaped at the red haired woman. The other members of Weiss turned their similar shocked expressions towards Manx.  
  
"Hai. Omi there are-"   
  
"You have got to be kidding me!" Ken interrupted Manx. Stalking over to where the woman stood, Ken grabbed the lapels of her red suit jacket. "Is this some   
sort of sick joke?! Omi has been through enough already!"  
  
"I'm sorry Ken, our doctors have checked the results multiple times already..." Manx looked down at the ground, hating to be the bearer of such terrible news.  
  
It felt like all of Omi's thoughts were going through his head a thousand miles an hour. Emotions raging between shock, anger, fear and depression. 'How...why   
is this happening?!' Omi thought despairingly. 'I can't take this...' Desperately needing to get out of the suddenly small and confining room, Omi did the only thing   
he could think of; run away.  
  
Watching the trembling boy suddenly turn and run up the stairs, Ken released Manx's jacket from his death grip and yelled at Omi to stop but a hand on his   
shoulder stopped him from actually following the boy.   
  
"Let him sort things out on his own first Ken. He needs to be alone right now." Seeing the disbelief in Ken's eyes, Manx took another tactic. "While Omi settles  
things with himself, I can discuss the way to go about this sudden change with you three."  
  
"Way to go about this? You make it sound so simple." Aya spoke with an icy edge to his voice.  
  
"I'll admit it isn't simple, but you do have to understand that this isn't going to change Omi overnight. We have medication that can help Omi's immune system fight,  
" Mans stated taking out some papers from a folder, "it could take over a decade for him to develop any serious illness."  
  
"So Omi might be ok?" Yoji asked, a skeptical glint in his eyes.  
  
"No, there is no cure for this so he won't be 'ok' but we can prolong the effects, allowing him to live a somewhat normal life. The medication is expensive, but   
Kritiker is more than willing to take a large sum of the price off you hands." Manx looked at each of the members as she spoke.  
  
"So what you're saying is that Omi will still die before his time!" Ken glared at the woman. "You can't save him... You're just helping to pay since it's your fault  
that he was raped to begin with!"  
  
"Ken! Have you head nothing that I've said?! We have things that can help Omi, allowing him to live longer. Two decades ago someone diagnosed with HIV  
could have died within months! We're giving Omi years! You should be thankful we have the resources we do today!"  
  
At a loss for words, Ken just stared at Manx. Omi would be ok... but he would still die eventually because his immune system won't be able to fight any illness   
he faces. How could he accept that? The one he loved had contracted a fatal illness. No cure... but if Manx was right, Omi could live to at least 30 or more!   
'The only thing to do I guess is help Omi deal with this... and savor the time we do have together, whether it's short or long.' With that set in his mind, Ken  
announced to the group that he was going to find Omi.  
  
~*~*~   
  
'The water is so calm... so still... that anything could be reflected off it's surfaces. But... with the touch of one object...' a leaf flutters down, being carried by the   
wind until it reaches it's destination. Upon landing in the lake, ripples spread out as if wanting to announce the presence of the little leaf. 'The smallest of things   
can change the river in seconds. Just like one incident in my life... can have an affect that lasts forever...'  
  
Turning away from the lake and his gloomy thoughts, Omi laid down in the grass, enjoying the feeling of the breeze tickling his nose and face. Closing his eyes,   
Omi let his thoughts drift from the lake back to the matter at home. What could he do about this? As if being an assassin didn't put him at risk enough, if that   
doesn't kill him now the common cold could! How long would it take for his immune system to fail... Would he even last another year? 'Kami-sama! What will I do   
about Ken? I could never make love to him now... Ken would become HIV positive as well.'  
  
They had decided to wait to do anything too serious. Omi still got the jitters occasionally if they went to far. Even though things were slow now, Omi still had   
wanted to show Ken how much he loved him once he was ready. Now he would never have that chance. Would Ken even want to be his boyfriend now that   
he was HIV positive?   
  
"Omi?"   
  
Eyes flew open at the sound of his name. He really must have been deep in thought to not notice someone walk up to him. Sitting up and scanning his   
surroundings, Omi's eyes finally settled on Ken's worried face.  
  
"Ken-kun... what are you doing here?"   
  
Walking over to sit beside Omi, Ken looked into Omi's clear blue eyes. "I thought you could use someone to talk to."  
  
"What's there to say...?" Omi asked with his eyes downcast.   
  
"Well, I personally think there is a lot we could talk about." Ken gingerly tilted up Omi's chin, their gazes meeting slowly. "Like maybe how the world isn't coming  
to an end. Manx talked to us after you left. There is medicine out there that can help keep you healthy longer." He squeezed Omi's hand, trying to help him   
realize the importance of his words.  
  
"But no matter what I will still die because of this..." Omi could no longer hold back his raging emotions. As his eyes started to spill over with tears he felt   
himself enveloped in a tight hug. Ken's embrace had always made him safe, and it still did, even if he truly wasn't. All Omi wanted to do was curl up   
somewhere with Ken and stay there forever in his arms.   
  
"Everyone dies sometime Omi, and with our jobs, it might even be sooner than that. We all know it. Every one of us has to live while we can, before life is  
taken from us. Your situation is no different. You can't just stop doing the things you love because you will die one day. That's like telling someone not to  
have a kid just because they'll eventually die too. It's a natural thing to die, there's no need to fear it. What we need to do," Ken raised Omi's hand to hip lips,   
kissing it lightly, "is savor the time we have. No worrying about the 'what ifs'." Wiping off Omi's tears, Ken leaned down and kissed the boy he loved. Nothing  
but love went into the small action.   
  
"Thank you Ken. For everything. You are always so good to me." Omi stood up and turned to the brunette.  
  
"And don't you think for a minute that I'll stop being good to you, or loving you, just because your HIV positive." Ken stood up as well, taking Omi's small hand in   
his larger ones.  
  
"Are you really sure you want me still?" Omi looked at Ken, eyes once again getting teary, but now for a happy reason.  
  
"Never been more sure of anything else Omittchi. Now, I think there are a few other people you know who are also worried about you. Want to head back?"   
  
"Yeah, let's go home. We've still got a lot to do." Omi smiled at Ken and they headed through the park back to the koneko, hand in hand.  
  
  
  
TBC... or not?  
  
~*~*~  
  
AHHH! I wrote more!!! Is this a good place to end it or are all you readers expecting something more dramatic? Death of Omi... much sadness ensuing...   
Or is this a more happier ending that y'all like? I aim to please but I'm losing ideas on this... I don't know if I can kill Omittchi... Ken might pop out my t.v. and   
attack me for killing the one he loves.... hehe. Well, tell me want you think!!! ^_^ 


End file.
